It took me a long time to realise I needed to shift my money mindset. I tried everything to make money, from waiting on tables to becoming a stuntman – yeah seriously! But something dogged me for years, and it was a negative self image. With a negative self image, it doesn’t matter how hard you try – you’re always carrying a bag of stones in your backpack! Small comments would knock me back and I would dwell on them for weeks, unable to pick myself back up.
A poor self image often comes from childhood trauma. So if you have had some kind of trauma in your life, it’s possible the wounds are still open. If so, small comments can cut deeply because they are triggering old wounds.
Shifting your money mindset isn’t just about telling yourself nice things about money. It goes far deeper. For years I tried the money mantras (even when I didn’t believe them), only to find myself broke and miserable again!
So what’s the answer? Well for me it was to undergo an identity shift and realise I wasn’t the wounded child, but a grown up with control over my life and circumstances.
This doesn’t happen overnight. Also, you’ve probably been telling yourself some very unhelpful things if you’re anywhere near where I was in life. “I’m never good enough”, “I’ll never fit in” and all the other “I’ll never’s!”
Shift Your Money Mindset – Self Image
The self image is built on your beliefs about yourself and your world. If you’ve had childhood trauma, you’ll likely be bringing it with you wherever you go. It makes you more vulnerable than some people because each setback can trigger the trauma. Your world starts to shrink because you’re protecting your wound. So you don’t do the things which lead to success, and financial stability or freedom. You’re trapped in the past – in your trauma.
There’s a very good book on self image called Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. Maltz was a plastic surgeon who realised that when his patients underwent the surgery, they came out still dissatisfied with their lives. It wasn’t the feature of their face which made them unhappy, or of their body. Instead, it was something inside them which made them feel inadequate,
That thing, Maltz writes is the self image. He began working with patents before surgery, helping them with their self image. Once his patients changed their self image, they were no longer interested in the surgery – so he kind of did himself out of a job there!! But the same is true with money – having a poor self image will naturally sabotage your efforts to make money, perhaps because you don’t feel worthy of having it? Do you find when you have money, or have had money in the past, you find ways to lose or spend it?
Shift Your Money Mindset – Self Talk
Another fabulous book I recommend is one by Shad Helmstetter called “what to say when you talk to yourself”. I’ll call him Shad, since it’s easier to write than Helmstetter! Lol! In his book he talks about the inner dialogue we have with ourselves. When it comes to money, most of us have a least a few limiting beliefs which we perpetuate because of our programming. Yes our programming.
Our beliefs about the world (and money) are absorbed unconsciously before we are 10 years old from our parents. So if your parents had some opinions about money (they did), you will no doubt have absorbed them as a child (you did). You wanted to make your parents happy, so you naturally mirror their beliefs back to them, through your actions.
Unfortunately this doesn’t always serve you later in life. Often it is when we are struggling that we need to look closely at our inner beliefs which we picked up from our parents before we could consciously reject their ideas.
These ideas show up in your inner dialogue when you talk to yourself. Shad’s book discusses the concept of interrupting the older, less useful ideas, and replacing them with newer more positive mantras. Essentially, the problems you have with money will likely be being reinforced by your beliefs around money, self worth and your role in the world. All of these major jigsaw pieces you will have picked up unconsciously and are mirroring into the world – to keep your parents happy!
Are your parents still around even? Often this happens long after they are gone!
Awareness
So what to do about a negative self image, poor bank balance and difficult circumstances? Given that it is the self image which can hold you back, and the self talk which perpetuates some of these circumstances, a good idea is to change your self talk and shift your self image.
So how do we go about this?
Firstly, we need to recognise that our beliefs will perpetuate our problems unless we change them. As much as you might try to change everything on the outside of life – new job, new partner, new city, etc., your inner world will always come with you, everywhere you go!
Changing the inner you is often the last place people look, before their circumstances change permanently. To do so requires a little bit of awareness. Since if you don’t know about something, if you don’t measure it, it’s impossible to change. So the first step is to bring awareness to your belief system and your self image.
Start to notice how you talk and think about yourself (self worth) and money. Money is a minefields and often we carry many negative connotations about money with us in our consciousness:
- Money is the route of all evil
- Money doesn’t grow on trees
- Rich people are greedy
- I don’t care about money
- Dirty money
- It’s hard to make money
- etc.
The list of negative beliefs and thoughts about money is endless! Consider though, how holding beliefs around money such as these might not be conducive to having and keeping money. In fact it is these very thoughts which push money away from you, because you are sabotaging yourself with them.
Shifting Money Mindset Mantras
With some time and patience you will find you are telling yourself (and other people) what you believe around money. Do you know the film Star Wars, when Darth Vader says “your thoughts betray you“, to Luke? This film quote is also very true of our thoughts when we talk ourselves down, or say something negative about the very thing we are trying to attract into our lives.
Once we have brought awareness to our inner thinking around money, abundance and our self image, we can see more clearly who the real culprit is when it comes to sending money away in our lives. It is us! Ourselves!
But this realisation gives us a lot of scope for change! We simply can’t keep on saying negative things about something, while wanting to attract it into our lives. When/if it shows up, it is immediately repulsed by us!
But :
- But money makes people greedy
- The rich are sellfish
- Makes people corrupt
- Is hard to come by
- Takes a lot of hard work
- Etc.
So when you catch yourself saying something negative about money, congratulate yourself for uncovering the true source of your hardship – you!
Once You’re Aware
Once you become aware of your “hidden saboteur”, you can go about making some changes. Firstly, stop giving energy to these thoughts and words. This will take some time, and long held beliefs are deeply embedded into your psyche. But once you discover this, it is a major key to changing things permanently in your life regarding money.
Keep bringing awareness to the topic and you will notice you no longer want to entertain thoughts which push money away from you. Instead, you can use some new mantras and implement new beliefs which are more encouraging to bringing money (and whatever you want) into your life.
Some mantras will be harder for you than others to accept. So choose something you think you can more easily accept but that will be a more positive one that what you currently believe:
- Money comes easily and frequently
- I get paid for being me
- Money is a means of exchange
- I let go of emotion when it comes to money
- I welcome money into my life
Depending on your situation, these phrases might be a little jarring at first, and you may not feel comfortable saying them even. But it’s worth choosing a more empowering phrase you can say when you notice the old, negative thoughts coming up.
Summary
Can you really shift your money mindset? Shifting your money mindset isn’t a simple task. You’ll likely have a number of deeply held beliefs which push money away from you. By looking towards your childhood, and uncovering some of your beliefs around money, you can see how you were trying to help/heal your parents by mirroring their beliefs back to them!
Perhaps though you have carried these beliefs into adulthood, unawares. Now is the time to face them, because if you are reading this they are clearly holding you back in life.
By bringing awareness to your thoughts and beliefs, you can uncover the source of your limitations, whatever the area – it doesn’t have to be around money. You can do this through becoming aware of your thoughts and what you say around the topic of money, and your feelings of self worth.
Once you have uncovered some of your negative beliefs, you can start replacing them with more encouraging ones which attract money rather than repel it! You can shift your money mindset and it is one of the most empowering things you can do for permanent change in life.